Life is a race with ourselves. To win the race, all we have to do is take ONE step forward today from where we were yesterday. The moment we look sideways or backwards at what other people are doing, we start losing the race... We lose our footing... We trip and fall flat on our face... We idolize other people, and we feel really bad about ourselves... . When in fact... We human beings LOVE moving forward... We get a real THRILL from bettering ourselves. So keep looking forwa

Most of us have been raised with the firm belief that we must "finish what we started" and "not be a quitter"... We are raised to IGNORE our intuition and what we feel in the present... and blindly finish what we started... whether it is a school program, a job, a relationship, a house purchase, a wedding, a volunteer position, an activity, etc... This can be extremely detrimental for highly sensitive people like us. In fact, it is one of the MAIN CAUSES of Situational Anx

There were two roads to choose from... Both contained suffering... Both contained pain... . One road was easy... The other road was hard... . The EASY road required doing very little... But his suffering would remain... and remain... . The HARD road required doing so much... Pushing through resistance... Pushing through the pain... Dealing with the past... Dealing with the shame... . He stayed on the EASY road For years and years and years... . And then one day... he decided.

One of my LEAST FAVORITE expressions in the English language is the expression "self-care". 🤣 It is a very naggy term that makes us feel like that in addition to all the things we "should" be doing... we should also be "caring" for ourselves. Well, I would like to flip this whole expression right on its head... Not everything in life is a "should"... What we are really talking about here is "getting our HAPPINESS NEEDS met", "having fun", and "living the life we want to l

There is a lot of talk about finding our passion & purpose... but this topic usually leaves people more confused than ever. We end up wondering, "Why haven't I found my passion & purpose yet, and why is it so difficult to find?" . Well, it is because passion & purpose is an EMOTIONAL PROCESS. It cannot be planned through logical and rational thought processes. However, our society tells us to be rational & logical in everything we do. We are encouraged to be a whole society o

One of my favorite sentences is: "We all do what we do because we have nothing more compelling to do." What??!! So, when we are worrying, obsessing, or doing meaningless shit... it is because we have NOTHING more compelling to do??!!! Wow... This encouraged me to start asking myself, "What MORE COMPELLING THING would I actually like to be doing right now? I then shifted my priorities in that direction... And I found myself spending my time in a much better way. . When we answ

One day when I was looking through my clients' notes... I noticed that many of my clients had only stayed with their previous therapists for exactly THREE WEEKS... I kept finding... "Tried therapy a few times in the past. Only stayed for 3 weeks." And then I remembered that I too had fallen into a depression at Week 3 with my coach when I was overcoming my anxiety of putting myself out on the internet... I thought back to all those foreign languages that I had started to

If we FEEL that we CAN'T, then the learning process will be a painful, excruciating chore. If we FEEL that we CAN, then the learning process will be an exciting, fulfilling journey. The only difference between these two states is the FEELING we have inside. . We have been socialized to not pay attention to our feelings... So, we find excuses and explanations as to WHY we are not doing these "painful feeling" tasks. . However, ALL feelings can be resolved. These feelings don't

There is a lot of talk about Happiness... from philosophy, to positive psychology, to meditation, to self-help books... But what is very rarely talked about is the Happiness we gain from doing Exceptional Work. We spend most of our day at our workplaces... and it can laden with guilt, shame, drama, interpersonal conflict, frustration, resentment, and the like... We try to resolve these problems... only to have them come back to haunt us again and again. . So what is the S

We often go... "I have done A and B and C and D... and STILL no progress. Will I EVER succeed?" However, the answer rarely lies in what we have done... It usually lies in what we have NOT done. 😂 . Yes, we have done the EASY stuff... But have we actually been listening to our INTUITION? Have we been addressing our FEARS? Have we actually be following the path that we TRULY WANT to follow? Or have we been Faking it... Doing but not doing... Piddling... Dabbling.. Pretending t

My brother and his friend have the most hilarious terms they use with each other: LOW-FA : Low Functioning Adult MI-FA : Middle Functioning Adult HIGH-FA : High Functioning Adult They get together every few months, call themselves "LOW-FA"s, have a good laugh, and honestly tell each other about all that they have been going through... the good and the bad. When my brother first told me about the term "LOW-FA", we looked at each other and started howling with laughter. In th

To "past-forward" is to do something in the future simply because you did something in the past. The WORST YEAR of my life came into place this way... I was 27-years old and I was FINALLY finishing my university degree in Linguistics (after having spent ages 21-26 with crippling social anxiety). I was doing well in my courses, so one of my profs (who I had a crush on) convinced me to apply for the Canada Graduate Scholarship to do my Masters in Linguistics. So... I please

Have you ever noticed that sometimes foreign countries can appear to be better than our own country? With less problems... more connected people... a more peaceful life? . Well, this is because when we are in a foreign country, it is easier to IGNORE the media... the politics... the crazy government regulations... and the local debates and controversies going on. We see what is ACTUALLY going on around us with the REAL people in that location. . Well, we can choose to IGNORE

North American culture encourages a lot of "ass time" in the office... which often ends up pushing our productivity way down... However, I believe that our greatest happiness comes from BOTH... 1. Being PRODUCTIVE IN THE OFFICE (going into 'FLOW') 2. getting our ASS OUT OF THE OFFICE and living the life we want to live. . It is hard being the person who leaves on time when everyone else is putting their "ass time" skills on display... But forcing ourselves to leave on time ca

Yesterday, I was BANNED from posting and commenting in facebook groups for 24 hours... due to me over-zealously posting my memes into too many groups Sunday night. 😂 When I received the ban, my facebook notifications also came to a halt... I was in facebook jail... isolation... separated from most of the facebook world... . When I woke up Monday morning, the realization of my current ban came to my mind... I had thoughts like... - "I am a horrible person for being banned l

One of the prevailing beliefs in the field is that in order to overcome Social Anxiety, we just need to expose ourselves to PEOPLE... and then our "fear of people" will fade away... This is a similar to the logic of what might help with the fear of spiders. (See picture below. 😂) However, social anxiety is not as SIMPLE as the fear of spiders. Human interactions are so much more COMPLICATED than that. . When I had crippling social anxiety, no matter how much I exposed mys

I used to have a little angel-type creature on my shoulder called "Time Machine Marni". She believed that I could travel back in time and give my "former self" shit. "Time Machine Marni" was a real tight-ass perfectionist because she had the wisdom of hindsight. . 🔸 If I used the wrong word... "Time Machine Marni" told me to go back in time and correct it... 🔸 If I SAID something... "Time Machine Marni" told me that I shouldn't have said it... 🔸 If I DIDN'T SAY something..

When I had severe, crippling anxiety in my 20's... it seemed that NOTHING was going to work... I had tried CBT, Psychoanalysis, Exposure Therapy, Beta-Blocker Meds, SSRIs... But all these things just MADE IT WORSE... :( Since these "normal solutions" hadn't worked... maybe I had to find a way to "shake myself up" in a different way?! So, one day in the end of August 2001, when I was 25 years old, I postponed my last year of University, and I bought an impulse plane ticket t

Yesterday someone said to me, "I read your last post in the Google Translate format, and it sounded REALLY RUDE in Hungarian." I was like, "Google Translate?!!! How could I possibly prevent THIS from happening in the future?!" God... Then I realized, THIS is why I had writer's block all those years! . WRITER'S BLOCK is when we worry about what the most obscure groups of people might think... (for example, "Google translate readers", Uncle Barry, old classmates, trolls, that e

Since going online, I have had a lot of "firsts"... My first VULNERABLE post... My first post that provoked a lot of "UNFRIENDING"... The first time I got "BLOCKED" by an individual and a group... My first online "HATER" who tore me to threads... . Every time I had a "first", I was filled with so many emotions... shame, fear, overwhelm, dread, self-doubt, etc... At times the emotions would get so strong that I was barely hanging on... trying to keep posting... keep conne

When I had SOCIAL ANXIETY... I thought the problem was ME... - "I was a social failure." When I had DATING ANXIETY... I thought the problem was ME... - "I wasn't beautiful enough." When I had POSTPARTUM ANXIETY... I thought the problem was ME... - "I wasn't a good enough mother.' When I had INTERNET ANXIETY... I thought the problem was ME... - "I wasn't good enough to be online." . With EVERY SINGLE ANXIETY I have ever had... I thought the problem was ME... I was 100% convinc

There is a lot of talk about Artificial Intelligence these days... In my mind, AI could never replace the joy we get from creating something... from our own minds... our own insights... our own experiences. My current Hungarian YouTube channel is providing me with so much joy. 🥰 🔹 It only has 28 subscribers... 🔹 It is not changing the world... 🔹 It is definitely not perfect... I am speaking Hungarian! 😂 An inspiration comes over me... I sit in my armchair... I set up the

Since ChatGPT was released in November 2022, I have refused to consume or produce AI content. In fact, I have never used AI... 🔸 Not for researching... 🔸 Not for idea generation... 🔸 Not for summarizing... 🔸 And certainly not for writing, or editing my work. There seems to be the expectation that all of us will have to use it eventually... . This week, I came to the firm decision: "No. I will continue creating content in my own way... using my own head." I would also like

Are you an intense person who is mainly interested in deep topics? Have you been shamed for this? Do you try to make your conversation topics LIGHTER... more APPROPRIATE... more SUPERFICIAL... so that the majority will approve? Has this been making you feel socially exhausted? . I see our personalities as lying on a SPECTRUM. - On the ONE SIDE of the spectrum are people who prefer to talk about LIGHT topics and the details of their day... - On the OTHER SIDE of the spectrum