Since going online, I have had a lot of "firsts"... My first VULNERABLE post... My first post that provoked a lot of "UNFRIENDING"... The first time I got "BLOCKED" by an individual and a group... My first online "HATER" who tore me to threads... . Every time I had a "first", I was filled with so many emotions... shame, fear, overwhelm, dread, self-doubt, etc... At times the emotions would get so strong that I was barely hanging on... trying to keep posting... keep conne

Yesterday someone said to me, "I read your last post in the Google Translate format, and it sounded REALLY RUDE in Hungarian." I was like, "Google Translate?!!! How could I possibly prevent THIS from happening in the future?!" God... Then I realized, THIS is why I had writer's block all those years! . WRITER'S BLOCK is when we worry about what the most obscure groups of people might think... (for example, "Google translate readers", Uncle Barry, old classmates, trolls, that e

I would write a simple post... about nothing... I would click the blue "Post" button... And in 5 second's time, I would feel excruciating pain... Like someone was going to burst into the room and start screaming at me, Criticizing at me... Giving me royal shit... There was nothing WRONG with the post itself. I felt that it was ME who was flawed... And by posting, I was exposing these flaws to the world... . And then I finally realized... this too is a form of SOCIAL ANXIETY!

When I had SOCIAL ANXIETY... I thought the problem was ME... - "I was a social failure." When I had DATING ANXIETY... I thought the problem was ME... - "I wasn't beautiful enough." When I had POSTPARTUM ANXIETY... I thought the problem was ME... - "I wasn't a good enough mother.' When I had INTERNET ANXIETY... I thought the problem was ME... - "I wasn't good enough to be online." . With EVERY SINGLE ANXIETY I have ever had... I thought the problem was ME... I was 100% convinc

I had just written a vulnerable post online... and was feeling those familiar sensations of intense shame... I felt horrible physical pain in my arms... I felt so small... Every muscle in my body wanted to take it down... I felt so horribly exposed... And then something dawned on me... I WAS BEING SELF-CENTERED! - I was assuming that the world revolved around ME! - I thought that people were thinking about ME! - I thought that people were busy judging ME... - I thought that