I used to be the worst mind-reader on the planet... I was constantly in other people's business... worrying about whether they liked me... whether they were judging me... whether they were mad at me... I spent my life in OTHER people's heads... constructing the worst possible fantasies about all the horrible things they could be thinking about me... . Until one day, I made this earth-shattering realization: 🔸 When I was worried that people were MAD at me... I was usually

One concern a lot of my social anxiety clients have is that even if they do overcome their social anxiety... no one will like them anyway due to their ugly personality. When in reality, their personalities aren't ugly at all... and here is why: Social anxiety is a Shame problem. In addition to causing social anxiety, Shame causes many other potentially 'ugly' traits, such as... 2. Resentment 3. Anger 4. Feelings of superiority 5. Feelings of inferiority 6. Depression 7. Ind

WHY BECOMING A SOCIAL ANXIETY COACH WAS THE "LAST" THING I WANTED TO DO I didn't set out to be a Social Anxiety Coach. In fact, I refused to utter the words "social anxiety' from 22 to 40 years old. I found my solution to my crippling social anxiety at 26 without saying the words "social anxiety" at all... And I was worried that if I ever said these words again... my social anxiety would come back. . Then, in my 30's, I decided to become a "Happiness Coach for Mothers". I res

I have two groups of clients who I help a lot: 1. Social Anxiety Clients (who tend to be introverts) 2. Generalized Anxiety & Motherhood Anxiety Clients (who tend to be both Extroverts and Introverts) . I have noticed a fundamental difference between the kind of coaching that extroverts and introverts require... . EXTROVERTS need to be able to express themselves freely to someone who understands. It is by expressing themselves freely that they see connections, have insights

In our society, we are often led to believe that our "worth" is determined by money-related factors... 🔸 The more money we have invested into FASHION... the more "worth" we have... 🔸 The more money we have invested into our CAR... the more "worth" we have... 🔸 The more money we have invested into a HOUSE in a good neighbourhood... the more "worth" we have... 🔸 The more money we have invested into our BODIES (gym memberships, diets, cosmetics, nose jobs, boob jobs, penis

THE OTHER DAY I FAILED... I forced myself to do something... Though I was way too tired... I could hardly speak... Couldn't focus... Got more and more nervous... Totally BOMBED the task... :( . Will it happen again? What if it happens now? Or now? Or now? Or now? . THIS is how anxiety begins. . What if it was a fluke? What it doesn't matter? What if everyone fails some of the time? . The other day I failed... And I WILL fail again... But instead of it ruining my life... And m

I had just written a vulnerable post online... and was feeling those familiar sensations of intense shame... I felt horrible physical pain in my arms... I felt so small... Every muscle in my body wanted to take it down... I felt so horribly exposed... And then something dawned on me... I WAS BEING SELF-CENTERED! - I was assuming that the world revolved around ME! - I thought that people were thinking about ME! - I thought that people were busy judging ME... - I thought that

I overcame really crippling social anxiety by applying a solution that I call "Honesty, Love, and Acceptance". It was a very similar solution to the solution that Dr. John Nash found in the movie "A Beautiful Mind". However, whenever I tell people about the "LOVE" part, they often have difficulty understanding what I'm trying to say. They say things like... "If I love people, they will walk all over me." . It took me a while, but I finally realized that there was both a Behav

Why did you label me? Why did you look down on me? Why did you keep yourself a secret the way you did? Why did you focus on my symptoms? And obsess over my thoughts? Why didn't you see what my REAL PROBLEM actually was? Why were you so distant? Why didn't you HELP me? Why did you make my problems WORSE? . It's because YOU also had problems... That's why you studied psychology... But psychology didn't help you either... It wasn't your fault... It was the fault of academia... M

🔸 Going from thinking one is inherently "different"... to believing that we are all fundamentally the same. 🔸 Going from believing that one is "inferior"... to believing that one is equal to all. 🔸 Going from being locked in an inward spiral... to moving outwards and loving the world. . Human Beings are social animals... and so are you and me. <3 Maybe you just haven't found the right "catalyst connection"... or the right method that will work for you. Check out my vi

The first step to overcoming anxiety is to not view anxiety as an innate personality trait. Anxiety is not a part of who you are. It is a SECONDARY SYMPTOM that is being caused by something else underneath. . Personality traits are things like - introversion, - high sensitivity, - being an empath, etc... . But, anxiety is completely different... It is an indication of a PROBLEM... It is a SYMPTOM... It is a SIGN... Of painful emotions or a painful situation under

One of the biggest challenges when we are trying to make friends and romantic partners is this: We can find ourselves too attached to the OUTCOME. We WANT more friends in our city... or we WANT to have a romantic partner... So, we go on the HUNT to find one... People tell us that if we just work a little harder, then surely we can achieve this feat... However, this attachment to the outcome can make us appear NEEDY and DESPERATE... which actually REPELS potential friends and

At the root of so much anxiety are societal expectations... We are supposed to BE someone that we're not... We are supposed to be DOING something that we're not... We are supposed to be SAYING something that we're not... . We think the problem lies in US... because we feel so pained inside... When in reality... the problem lies in this DISCONNECT between who we really ARE and who we are "supposed" to be on the outside... However, people with anxiety... can become the stronges

One of the most painful things about anxiety is that it can put us way behind our adult peers... :( We can find ourselves "late" in our... - Studies... - Work... - Dating... - Living situation... - Financial situation... - Etc... The fact that we don't follow the typical adult timeline can make us feel what I call the third wave of shame... We feel shame for being behind on the timeline of life... Due to anxiety... I finished my University degree at 27... I started dating whe

Some of my clients come to me with both Social Anxiety and another Anxiety as well (generalized, postpartum, agoraphobia, health, safety, OCD, etc.). These anxieties often feed off of each other... with one anxiety making the other one worse... which makes the other one even worse... moving them down into a negative spiral from hell. . One of the things we can to move up out of this spiral is to HONESTLY OWN the Other Anxiety. <3 For example, if you have GENERALIZED ANXIE

I swear... Introverts who have overcome social anxiety can become the most social people on the planet. My client (who used to have crippling social anxiety) met someone on a friend app last week... They scheduled their first meeting for Sunday... Before their meeting, my client and I had a coaching session to discuss what perspective to take. My client decided to be completely honest and just let everything out... No filters... No pretending... No small talk... No lies... An

Sometimes our solution to Anxiety lies in doing something crazy... That no one understands... That we can't explain ourselves... Like me taking off to Budapest, Hungary... To a place that I knew nothing about... To find a solution that may not exist... I didn't care that I knew nothing... I just needed to do something CRAZY... Because nothing else had worked! <3 . Does your solution lie in doing something crazy? What might that "crazy thing" be? Your intuition is telling you

Here is what I wrote a client of mine with Social Anxiety who is starting a meditation class next week... In order to decrease your social anxiety on the first day of the Meditation Class, you can focus on applying "Honesty, Love, and Acceptance" in this way... . 1. LOVE & COMPASSION You can think about the Buddhist values of love & compassion, and go in there feeling love and compassion towards everywhere there. You can view it as "loving kindness" meditation. Reg

Last night one of my clients said to me... "Therapists usually have their clients stay for years... But you help your clients overcome their problems and then they leave you... This must be hard for business." What an astute man! 😂 It is kind of like how dentists "lose" if they don't find problems with your teeth... and car mechanics "lose" if they don't find problems with your car... But damn... 🔸 The role of the therapist/coach is to HELP people OVERCOME their p

When I became an adult, there seemed to be a prescribed "Sex & Relationship Schedule" that so-called "normal" people followed... It went something like this... 18 years - Have Sex 18-20 years - Romantic Relationship with A BREAK-UP 20-22 years - Romantic Relationship with B BREAK-UP 22-26 years - Romantic Relationship with C BREAK-UP 26 years - MEET THE "ONE" 28 years - GET MARRIED 30 years - HAVE BABY 30-90 years - LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER WITH THE "ONE" . If we have any lev

Last week, I went to my 10-year-old daughter's dance recital. Before the recital, I needed to stay in the dance practice room for about 20-minutes to collect my last-minute ticket. I was surrounded by nothing but 8-to-22-year-old dancers, with their hair and make-up done up, and wearing beautiful popular dance dresses... getting ready for the recital. And then I caught a glance of myself in one of the FULL-WALL MIRRORS... And I was like "HOLY F*CK... I LOOK LIKE A WHALE!" �

In order to overcome my social anxiety, I used a process that I call "Honesty, Love, Acceptance & the Bathroom Break". Here is what these concepts mean: . 🔸 HONESTY - When I was EMOTIONALLY HONEST with people... my shame and anxiety went down. 🔸 LOVE - When I dared to LOVE PEOPLE, care about them, and be truly interested in them... my fear of people went down, and I was able to be FULLY PRESENT with them in the moment. 🔸 ACCEPTANCE - When I found a way to ACCEPT my anx

When I had social anxiety... everyone tried to "help" me by cluttering my head with shit... I was given - SCRIPTS of what I should say... - QUESTIONS that I should ask... - TECHNIQUES to debate with my thoughts... However, I ONLY HAD ONE BRAIN. I wasn't able to both have a conversation with someone AND deal with all this cognitive clutter my head! . So, what was the answer then... if it didn't lie in cognitive clutter? My solution was to SIMPLIFY my HEAD... and step into

A lot of people believe that social anxiety can't be overcome... Their reasoning is that "everyone has social anxiety to a certain degree". I find this equation of "crippling, panic-based anxiety" with "everyday anxiety" to be very upsetting. My social anxiety was ruining every single aspect of my life. . Let's get to the bottom of this question. In reality, the word "anxiety" has 2 completely different meanings. 1. EVERYDAY ANXIETY - This is the kind of anxiety that all huma