WHY WAS I FEELING SO MUCH GUILT AS A YOUNG MOTHER?!!
When I was a young mother, I felt nothing but non-stop guilt...
I felt guilty on the toilet, in the shower, cleaning, cooking, loading the dishwasher, at the hairdresser's...
And when I was at work, it got even worse... I couldn't concentrate on a single thing I was doing...
All I could feel, think, and breathe was GUILT!!!
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It turned out that there are 2 types of guilt...
- Legitimate Guilt
- Societal Guilt
1. LEGITIMATE GUILT is when we are doing something we truly feel is 'wrong'... (For example, we haven't taken our child to the dentist for a long time).
2. SOCIETAL/CULTURAL GUILT is when we are NOT actually doing anything wrong... but we feel guilty ANYWAY...
It was Societal Guilt that crippled me as a young mother... and it is crippling way too many women in their prime!
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To free myself from this guilt, I started asking myself...
"What is the societal belief that I have internalized that is underlying this current guilt?
From my sociological research, here are some of the societal beliefs put on mothers as well as the guilts they cause.
🔸 "Children need their mothers to be with them 24/7." (TIME GUILT)
🔸 "If a mother spends time away from her children, then the time they spend together must be 'quality time'." (QUALITY TIME GUILT)
🔸 "Mothers "develop" their children by spending as much time as possible stimulating, attaching, mirroring, being attuned to, speaking with, playing with, teaching, and interacting with their children." (CHILD DEVELOPMENT GUILT)
🔸 "Mothers control their child's future psychology, so they must ensure that their child be happy at all times." (CHILD HAPPINESS GUILT)
🔸 "Mothers control their child's future success, so they must do everything they can for their child's future resume." (FUTURE SUCCESS GUILT)
🔸 "Mothers must always put their child's needs & wants first, even if it means completely losing themselves in the process." (CHILD'S NEEDS FIRST GUILT)
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Since I am a highly sensitive perfectionist who was reading a lot of parenting advice... I internalized EVERY SINGLE ONE of these societal beliefs and many more.
And so no matter what I did, I felt EXCRUCIATING GUILT. <3
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But it IS possible to free ourselves from every single one of these guilts put on mothers.
I have written 14 READING MODULES where I guide my clients through this whole guilt-freeing process.
I also help fathers, caregivers, spouses, "adult children" and everyone else who is playing a societal/cultural role to free themselves from their unnecessary guilts and feel emotionally free! <3
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Let me know if you'd like to find out more about how I can help you overcome your Anxiety, Depression, and Anger... as well as any Guilt or Shame underlying it...
You don't have to suffer from guilt anymore...
You CAN be emotionally free! <3
Marni Penner
A Kanadai Coach :)