WHEN WE DON'T FOLLOW THE "SEX AND RELATIONSHIP SCHEDULE" <3
When I became an adult, there seemed to be a prescribed "Sex & Relationship Schedule" that so-called "normal" people followed...
It went something like this...
18 years - Have Sex
18-20 years - Romantic Relationship with A
BREAK-UP
20-22 years - Romantic Relationship with B
BREAK-UP
22-26 years - Romantic Relationship with C
BREAK-UP
26 years - MEET THE "ONE"
28 years - GET MARRIED
30 years - HAVE BABY
30-90 years - LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER WITH THE "ONE"
.
If we have any level of social anxiety, this model can seem literally impossible to achieve... We are supposed to jump into these intense, exclusive romantic relationships... that have this huge inherent risk of ending completely? "ARE YOU FRICKIN' KIDDING ME?" I asked myself at that age... I was unable to talk to men... I wasn't able to say one word... And as the years went by, I was treated like more and more of a freak... for not following the Prescribed "Sex & Relationship Schedule"... There must be something wrong with me... 1. Was I in the closet about my sexuality? 2. Did I have inherent flaws that made me undesirable to the opposite sex? 3. Was I too weird? 4. Was I going to end up an old maid? I was given the impression that I was missing out on something HUGE by not having a boyfriend at that age... The SHAME... the exclusion... the being treated like a freak... :( When... ALL I had was SOCIAL ANXIETY... Why couldn't anyone see that? SOCIAL ANXIETY was the only problem I had! Whether you have had "NO RELATIONSHIP" or "TOO MANY FLINGS" or you "DIVORCED FROM YOUR ONE"... this is NOT the problem society makes it out to be... It simply means that you couldn't conform to the societal "sex and relationship schedule"... <3 It is a societal construct... It is a societal dream of how we are "supposed" to be... It has nothing to do with how all human beings actually are so much of the time. You don't have to suffer from "Sex & Relationship Schedule" Shame any longer... You are good enough... just the way you are. <3 Let me know if you would like me to help you OWN YOUR STORY and free yourself from your Anxiety and the Shame underlying it. To all of our stories... Marni Penner A Kanadai Coach :)