CIKK: Amikor elküldtem "Időgép-Marni"-t a francba...

THE DAY I TOLD "TIME MACHINE MARNI" TO TAKE A HIKE...

I used to have a little angel-type creature on my shoulder called "Time Machine Marni".

She believed that I could travel back in time and give my "former self" shit.

"Time Machine Marni" was a real tight-ass perfectionist because she had the wisdom of hindsight.

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🔸 If I used the wrong word... "Time Machine Marni" told me to go back in time and correct it...

🔸 If I SAID something... "Time Machine Marni" told me that I shouldn't have said it...

🔸 If I DIDN'T SAY something... "Time Machine Marni" told me that I should have said it...

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No matter what I did, "Time Machine Marni" was never satisfied...

After all... she had the wisdom of hindsight... so her level of perfection was far higher than anything my "former self" could have possibly achieved!

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I kept following "Time Machine Marni's" advice...

I kept talking to my former self... correcting her... giving her shit... putting words into her mouth...

Until one day I realized...

I don't have a time machine!! 😂

That "Marni of the Past" had done her very best... considering the information, abilities, and perspective she had had at the time...

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I looked "Time Machine Marni" in the eyes... and I told her to take a hike.

I could NOT go back into the past... nor did I want to...

I was now in the PRESENT...

I was going to ACCEPT the past... and LEARN what I could...

We bid our final adieus... and "Time Machine Marni" flew far, far away. 😊

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Do you often struggle with this same "time-machine" problem?

I hope you found this helpful. <3

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Let me know if you'd like me to help you appease your "Time Machine Self"... or your "Mind-Reading Self"... or your "Future-Telling Self"... and become emotionally free in the present that is.

To "Time Machine Marni's" memory...

Marni Penner

A Kanadai Coach :)

CIKK: És ha csunya a személyiségem?

BUT WHAT ABOUT MY UGLY PERSONALITY?!! <3

One concern a lot of my social anxiety clients have is that even if they do overcome their social anxiety... no one will like them anyway due to their ugly personality.

When in reality, their personalities aren't ugly at all... and here is why:

Social anxiety is a Shame problem.

In addition to causing social anxiety, Shame causes many other potentially 'ugly' traits, such as...

2. Resentment

3. Anger

4. Feelings of superiority

5. Feelings of inferiority

6. Depression

7. Indifference

8. Jealousy

9. Arrogance

10. Addictions

11. Self-Harm

12. Aggression

13. Performing for others

14. Competing with others

15. Bragging

16. and many more...

NONE of these secondary symptoms of shame have anything to do with your personality at all!

By freeing yourself from the Shame that causes social anxiety... you will also free yourself from these other secondary traits! :)

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So, then you might be thinking... Well then WHAT IS MY PERSONALITY... if it is not these ugly traits?

We all have many sides to our personalities...

For example...

- Our nice side

- Our analytical side

- Our focused side

- Our confident side

- Our sexual side

- Our funny side

- Our passionate side

- Our loving side

- Our nerdy side

- Our spontaneous side

- Our artistic side

- Our creative side

- Our daring side

- etc.

Your personality is all of this!

But, what is NOT your personality are the ugly secondary symptoms of shame. <3

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Do you know what makes us the most attractive?

It is when we feel no shame... and we are being our honest, authentic selves.

In other words... it is when we forget to perform or protect ourselves... and we are just being present with the other person in the moment... THIS is when we are most attractive.

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So yeah... You don't have an ugly personality at all...

Whatever you might have considered ugly about your personality... was probably just a manifestation of shame.

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Let me know if you'd like me to help you overcome your shame & social anxiety... and have the connections you desire. <3

To your beautiful self...

Marni Penner

A Kanadai Coach :)

CIKK: Amikor merjük elhagyni a tökéletesség ideálját

WHEN WE DARE TO DROP THE "PERFECTION IDEAL"...

We are socialized to believe that there exists a perfect woman and a perfect man... and that THIS is the person we should be...

We should, therefore, have a certain...

appearance

body

weight

height

voice

personality

intelligence

sexuality

ethnicity

religion

social status

work status

financial status

relationship status

family background

living situation...

And when we DON'T, we are encouraged to worry about it, obsess about it, and spend whatever money it take to improve it...

We don't realize that this perfect woman and this perfect man are IMPOSSIBLE to achieve... and that EVERYONE suffers under this illusion...

We sit alone in our houses... worrying about those areas in which we don't meet up to societal standards...

We don't see those areas where we DO live up to the societal standards...

Unless we OVERLY meet them... in which case we feel all the shame and resentment from all those people who do NOT.

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Shame is a societal problem... We feel SHAME when we DON'T meet the social ideal... and we feel OTHER PEOPLE'S shame when DO attain it!

These Shame Topics will, therefore, NEVER give us connection or belonging...

They do NOT give us happiness either!

They simply DISCONNECT us from others... in so many ways.

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So, what can we do?

We can start TALKING about these impossible societal standards and the shame that they're causing...

And we can LOOK PAST these impossible standards... have compassion towards EVERYONE for being exposed to them in the first place... and CONNECT with people anyway. :)

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Let me know if you'd like to find out more about how I help my clients free themselves from Shame... as well as any Anxiety or Depression it has been causing...

To True Empowerment & Connection... <3

Marni Penner

A Kanadai Coach :)