CAN SOCIAL ANXIETY BE OVERCOME... OR NOT?!
A lot of people believe that social anxiety can't be overcome...
Their reasoning is that "everyone has social anxiety to a certain degree".
I find this equation of "crippling, panic-based anxiety" with "everyday anxiety" to be very upsetting.
My social anxiety was ruining every single aspect of my life.
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Let's get to the bottom of this question.
In reality, the word "anxiety" has 2 completely different meanings.
1. EVERYDAY ANXIETY - This is the kind of anxiety that all human beings have occasionally when they are worried about something or they are worried about an interaction with someone.
2. CRIPPLING, PANIC-BASED ANXIETY - This is the kind of anxiety that cripples people's lives in certain areas, and keeps crippling their lives again and again and again.
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Now let's look at the four different social anxieties that I have had, and why I say that I have overcome them.
1. My crippling social anxiety with everyone where my heart was beating a mile a minute and I couldn't understand what anyone was saying and I couldn't connect with anyone... It went away.
2. My social anxiety towards men where I felt resentful towards them, didn't like them, and thought they were mean... It went away.
3. My social anxiety in motherhood where I was paralysed when I was around other mothers, and I couldn't parent my children in the vicinity of other people... It went away.
4. My social anxiety on the internet where I couldn't write a facebook status or make a video... It went away.
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Of course I have the same basic anxiety that all human beings experience...
But that crippling social anxiety where I couldn't connect with anyone... couldn't look them in the eyes... couldn't make friends... and felt absolutely powerless to do anything about... It went away. <3
"Crippling Anxiety" and "Basic Human Anxiety" are 2 different concepts. It is a complete coincidence that we use the same word for both. (Hungarian has 2 separate words for these concepts.)
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I feel like people have been telling me "Crippling social anxiety can't be overcome because everyone has 10 fingers."
I would like to say that "of course everyone has 10 fingers... AND crippling social anxiety CAN be overcome." :)
To your recovery... <3
Marni Penner
Anxiety & Social Anxiety Coach
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