Frissítve: 2020. máj. 31.
HOW "HUNGARIAN HONESTY" SAVED ME...
When I had severe, crippling social anxiety in my 20's... it seemed that NOTHING was going to work...
I had tried CBT, Psychoanalysis, Exposure Therapy, Beta-Blocker Meds, SSRIs...
But all these things just MADE IT WORSE... :(
Since these "normal solutions" hadn't worked... maybe I had to find a way to "shake myself up" in a different way?!
So, one day in the end of August 2001, when I was 25 years old, I postponed my last year of University, and I bought an impulse plane ticket to Eastern Europe...
I had heard that Hungarians spoke one of the most difficult languages on the planet. Maybe those weird people could show me a thing or two about life. 😁
So, I told my dad, "I am taking some time off from University, and in 3 weeks, I am flying to Budapest, Hungary to learn Hungarian." LOL!!!
He said, "You are going WHERE to do WHAT?!!"
I knew nothing about the place or the people... All I knew is they MUST be interesting people if their language was nearly impossible to learn.
So, I arrived in this foreign place by train from Munich... and walked from the train station to my new student residence.
I remember learning the word "yes" on my first day of Hungarian class the following day. It was "igen".
I thought, "Their word for "yes" has 2 SYLLABLES... and they don't even have a version of 'yeah'. These people are out of this world!"
And so began my Hungarian journey.
Well, it turns out that this unique culture also had an AMAZING TRAIT that changed my life forever.
It is called "HUNGARIAN HONESTY".
(There really is such a thing. The Hungarians talk about "Hungarian Honesty" all the time.)
And so what is "Hungarian Honesty"?
Well, it is the ability to truly be in touch with what we REALLY FEEL, REALLY THINK, REALLY NEED, and REALLY WANT... and to be able to SHOW it & SAY it.
For example, if you ask someone "How are you?"... they will say anything from "fine"... to a deep analysis of their problems... to how it was living with their alcoholic father... to a rant about the state of Hungarian politics today.
They simply say whatever is in their head in the moment.
This "clearing out the head" is so incredibly powerful when it comes to decreasing anxiety!
Instead of trying to obey all these complicated societal rules, filtering the truth, putting on a fake demeanor, and being forced to analyse like crazy to figure out what we are supposed to say/do/think/feel/etc... Hungarians just say it as it is.
I noticed that when I applied "Hungarian Honesty", my anxiety went right down.
Moreover, I realized that Love and Honesty together were stronger than Fear.
HONESTY makes our heads simple.
And LOVE (and other positive emotions) can OVERPOWER the fear.
So, together these concepts can free us from ALL types of mental illness!
(Dr. Nash also used this approach with schizophrenia in the movie "The Beautiful Mind".)
Let me know if you'd like to find out more about my (and Dr. Nash's) "HONESTY, LOVE & ACCEPTANCE" approach to overcoming Social Anxiety and ALL anxieties.
Because Love and Honesty ARE stronger than fear! <3
To your Happy Life,
A Kanadai Coach