HOW I IMPROVED MY RELATIONSHIP OVERNIGHT... <3
In early parenthood, my relationship went to shit!
We were constantly bickering over everything...
We were living in "scarcity"... with us both feeling like there was not enough time, fun, or happiness to go around.
Neither of us had any time to ourselves... and it always felt like the OTHER person was to blame.
So, we kept bickering non-stop, feeling resentment towards each other... and we were both were contemplating whether divorce was the most logical option...
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This continued on for a while until I realized something SUPER important!!
In fact, we had TONS of time...
When I added up the total number of HOURS that both my husband and I were home, then it was an extraordinarily high amount.
The problem is that we had been spending all that time bickering! 🤣
And why?!!
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Well, there were 2 SOCIETAL BELIEFS that had been oppressing the hell out of us...
BELIEF 1: Couples should spend all their evenings and weekends together...
BELIEF 2: Mothers should be with their children 24/7.
These expectations had forced our family to spend every minute together, like a can of sardines!!
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So, I decided to DEFY these Societal Beliefs and apply some "Happiness Mathematics" to our relationship:
My calculation led to this:
🔸 2 EVENINGS/WEEK - MOMMY leaves the house, and has an amazing time.
🔸 2 EVENINGS/WEEK - DADDY leaves the house, or does what he wants to do.
🔸 SATURDAY MORNING - Mommy takes the kids for a fun outing alone, while DADDY gets to stay home and rest.
🔸 SATURDAY AFTERNOON - Daddy spends some time with the kids, while MOMMY gets to go out on her own.
🔸 FRIDAY EVENING - We sometimes got a babysitter so that we could have some "alone time" together. <3
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This new way of spending our time made both of us SO HAPPY!
Finally, we were both getting our needs met, and living the kind of life that WE wanted to live...
People acted a little shocked when I told them that I spent 2 evenings a week out on the town, and that I took my kids to fun places on Saturday without my husband.
But who cares?
It wasn't people's opinions that mattered...
It was whether we were actually happy! <3
WE were now a happy couple and family... and THAT was all that mattered to me.
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Let me know if you'd like to find out more about how I can help you overcome your Anxiety and Depression, be Happier, and improve your Relationship... using my big-picture societal approach.
To your happiness...
Marni Penner
A Kanadai Coach :)